In this episode, I assert that conflict isn't the enemy of intimacy — avoidance is. Every fight you refuse to have, every hard conversation you sidestep, doesn't disappear; it goes underground and builds until something explodes. I name the ways men fight badly — stonewalling, defending instead of hearing, counterattacking, and fighting to win — and then walks through what healthy conflict actually looks like: slowing down, listening to understand, owning your part quickly, fighting for the relationship instead of victory, and repairing fast. The episode closes with the insight that most fights aren't really about what they seem to be about; underneath the surface issue is a deeper question about trust, presence, or worth.
Episode 5: Fighting Well
Why Avoidance Isn't Peace
Mar 26, 2026
The Long Obedience
The Long Obedience is a podcast for Christian husbands and fathers that skips the bumper-sticker masculinity and digs into the real, messy work of faith, marriage, and fatherhood. Each episode opens the Bible, names what men actually struggle with, and ends with one concrete step to take that week.
The Long Obedience is a podcast for Christian husbands and fathers that skips the bumper-sticker masculinity and digs into the real, messy work of faith, marriage, and fatherhood. Each episode opens the Bible, names what men actually struggle with, and ends with one concrete step to take that week.Listen on
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